From the Vault: Untitled

This poem was unearthed from the cache of Past Writing, and reader, though I had forgotten all about it, the familiar rhythm instantly summoned the night I feverishly wrote this. If you can indulge the teenage melodrama, you may enjoy the story.

Image by blackrabbitkdj from Pixabay

Untitled

You destroyed my world, dear heart, dear soul,

and gave me a love so true,

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole,

All I have left is you.

He took my hand, gazed into my eyes, and told me a secret more beautiful and sincere than any other in existence. What he is I’ll probably never know, nor do I need to know. I just know he loves me.

You entered my life, but I’d entered yours

back when the world was new-

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole

All I have left is you.

He says he is as old as time and I believe him. There is something about his eyes, a knowledge in them so deep and age worn that it can’t be natural.

How do I know you will always be there,

loving as sweet as you do?

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole,

All I have left is you. 

I’m afraid of him. His wisdom is so great there is no comparison, and his love for me runs even deeper. Oh, what he could do with my heart… my fragile heart that already lies as an offering before him.

You told me you’d watched me since time began

since before the first bird flew,

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole

All I have left is you.

How can one deny the power of a love so old and pure? I feel it course through every vein- he’s in my blood. He haunts my mind. He is completely within me.

My soul is an old soul, said you of me,

and my eyes of an ancient blue,

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole-

All I have left is you. 

How many guises has my person worn through the ages? Have I always appeared the same? It doesn’t matter, beauty isn’t necessary to him. It’s my inner flame, he says, that burns brighter than all the others. And he is, as a moth, drawn to me.

I’ve loved you before as I love you now,

this you swore to me too,

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole-

All I have left is you. 

If I close my eyes I can see images of times before, in places I don’t recognize, with people I’ve never known. But he is always there, loving me, guiding me, protecting me. He is my constant. And I’ve found him again at last.

“You are not like me, and our time is short,

Let the world our passions view,

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole-

All I have left is you. 

I’m mortal, my days will end too soon, despite my young age. A century is nothing compared to eternity. I know this. Will I find him again in my next life, if I have one? Could my soul stand to lose this love?

“I’ll take you away, my kingdom is yours,

I’ll show you things you never knew,”

Reality shattered, I’m hardly whole,

All I have left is you. 

I need him. He fills a gap in me, in my heart. And even through my love glazed eyes, I can see he needs me too. He is drawn to my light like a shadow fleeing the rest of the darkness, and in his love a bit of brightness can shine as well. He’s offering me the key to a doorway, a doorway into his soul, into his world. I need only reach out.

Yes, I’ll take your hand, dear heart, dear soul,

and let you lead me through,

Since reality shattered, I’m hardly whole

And all I have left is you. 

Heather Mackenzie (Senz) circa 1996-1997, probably 17 years old(ish)

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